Video Game Revolution – Spicing Up Gaming Clichés

Have you ever had an experience in a video game whereby you see something that you've seen in pretty much every other video game ever? We've all seen video game clichés, and many of us are plain sick of them. Surely we’re long overdue for a change.

Problem: Exploding Barrels - There are two basic truths behind every first-person shooter. First of all, you are going to shoot people. Second of all, you are going to shoot barrels, and those barrels will explode. Exploding barrels and guns have gone hand-in-hand for a long, long time, and it's time for a change.

Solution: Imploding Barrels – A simple twist on the classic. We've all seen bodies fly off because they've been launched in some catastrophic explosion, but don't you think it would be cool if a barrel being punctured caused an implosion, sucking in minions to be painfully crushed to death? It may seem pretty sci-fi and unrealistic, but it is not like there are many barrels around that would explode on contact in real life, either.

Problem: My Hero Can't Talk - Mute heroes have done amazingly well; outside of occasionally screaming like a small schoolgirl, Link is one of the greatest and least oratory heroes of all time. This has led to all of the mute heroes having a near stranglehold on the gaming world for a long, long time. If not completely mute, half the heroes out there will rarely get a single word into a conversation.

Solution: My Hero Can't Hear/See/Touch/Feel Emotion - Why not let another disability have a shot? Maybe the next great video game protagonist is blind, maybe there will be a great new X-Men game where you get to play as Professor X - all I'm saying is give the other guy a chance. Mute heroes have long succeeded in the industry, and with that same go-getting attitude we can see a lot of disabled heroes earn their due in the future.

Problem: Children are Heroes – There have been many great children heroes, big names like Ness, Young Link, and Baby Mario. The problem is that for every Red we send out to become the best trainer around, there is a Gary, a poor forgotten child whose grandfather can't even remember his own name. Children shouldn't be expected to become breadwinners of the house and heroes of the kingdom as soon as they reach age eight, it's too much pressure.

Solution: Children should be Children, let Mom have a shot - Sure, Cooking Mama is technically a gaming protagonist, but when is the last time she saved the world from impending doom? It's time for Mom to step up and do the dirty work their children have done for them. If there is one thing Moms are good at, it is being extremely overprotective. Maybe it's about time house Matriarchs show the world what they can do when they aren't taking care of the family.

Problem: Pits - The bottomless pit is the bane of all platform games; you fall down one and you're a goner. With close friends such as the acid filled pit, the pit full of lava, or even the water-filled pit for heroes who can't swim, pits have long been the quiet and quick killer - no guns, no explosions, just inescapable darkness and death. To speak frankly, these pits are becoming outdated and could use a bit of a makeover.

Solution: New fillings - The pit itself is still a great trap, simple and effective, but it could always be spiced up. Maybe pits could use some more guns and explosions? A pit that causes a set of explosions after you hit the bottom? Sounds hilariously violent and fun to me. There are a lot of unique and fun ways to kill people out there, and they could all go into the pit!

Problem: Home Invasion – Imagine yourself in the shoes of a homeowner. You spend a long day working; you come home and just want to relax after all your hard work. You sit down in your favorite chair and then hear a loud crash. You turn around and there is a tiny man in a green tunic brandishing a sword at you! He breaks all your boxes and pots and steals all the hard-earned money you've been saving, and then leaves. Well, the working man thinks enough is enough.

Solution: Neighborhood Watch – Have a criminal problem? There is no better way to deal with pesky heroes than to band together as a town and keep an eye out. If that hero breaks a few too many boxes, maybe it's time to send a few an angry mob or two his or her way. Townsfolk need to step up and not let protagonists step all over them just because they are secondary characters.

Problem: Fetch Quests – Go find 5 bear pelts, 3 squid eyes, the crystallized brain of a skeleton monkey, and four pennies from 1937. Your uncle needs these items in the correct order to make his secret magical stew, or something like that. These have been done to death, and no one likes to constantly run around like somebody’s personal delivery boy.

Solution: Unionize – The only way to fix one of the most grievous clichés and boring game design choices of all time is to unionize. It is time to fight for protagonist rights and not let the quest givers have all the power. With an established heroes' union, heroes would never have to fear being given boring quests or mindless tasks; they will get the epic quests they deserve, or go they will go on strike.

Can you think of any more video game clichés that need to be spiced up, changed, or just plain removed for good? Do you have any personal video game pet peeves? Let us know!

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